A Long Day's Journal Into Night

Written on Chinese candy label (in English) :

The gourmet series has been created by the new art of bakery expert. The splendid snack is the excellent food for your health. Enjoy nice time by specially selection of high quality.

Indeed.

You will be happy to hear that on the menu at the co-op tonight were pitas, hummus, and stuffed grapes leaves.

My new favorite activity is eavesdropping on law students while I wait in line for step class.

Last week's best moment:


"Do you really have to wear pantyhose to interviews?"

"Yes."

"But how would they know if you aren't?"

"Because you aren't wearing pantyhose."



And today's gem:

"So your'e dating someone and you won't tell anyone?"

"That's right. NO ONE knows."

"Why won't you tell any one?"

"Because of the whole 'law school thing'."


So apparently at UCLALS you are stoned by other 1, 2, and 3Ls if you are dating. They should include this information in the brochure. Along with the pantyhose requirement. I know that the law students are smart and they speak with excellent diction and vocabularies, but their subject matter...

Springboarding off of a conversation I had with Bean-head last night:

Today I was attacked by a Kerry supporter. I am completely serious when I say that she was in my face, and I am voting for Kerry already! I was so surprised and on automatic defense that I couldn't even say, "I AM voting for Kerry," before I hurried away. Plus, talk about preaching to choir, she was standing in front of Whole Foods. She should go stand in front of a Walmart.

FYI I wrote a lovely entry on Autumn, but blogger gobbled it. I do not want to write it again so here is a brief reenactment. Fall...balance egg...maple syrup...crunching leaves. Suffice it to say that it was VERY lovely and now:

I fully comprehend that Ho-Hos are the lowest common denominator on the food chain. So how come I like them so much?

It is Fall. And I don't mean JUST because today is the autumnal equinox, the day when you can supposably balance an egg on end. No not just that, but even here in terminally warm Los Angeles, I can feel the change. The angle of the sun is different I think, making the warmth not hotter, but heavier. Like maple syrup. When I see leaves on the ground here, I crunch every single blessed one I can get my feet on. They don't fall off because of Fall I think, but rather because they are thirsty.

Fall is one of my favorite seasons and if I am not extra sensitive, I might miss it.

I am reading a book I got from Mary called Double Shot. It is a murder mystery that takes place in the catering world. It is a good read, but I find it difficult to swallow without some food nearby. Get it..swallow..get OVER yourself..any-hoo. Furthmore, it takes place in a fictional town in Colorado called Aspen Meadows. Yeah, it through me for a loop, because at first I thought it took place in Aspen, but then it was like Lakewood, Colorado, a 45 minute drive away. I am trying to geographically place Aspen Meadows. I believe it to be in the Boulder vicinity, because one of the caterers also goes to school in Boulder and they are often buying their supplies there. I am thinking it is Lyons or Estes Park-like. They also mention forest fires and lakes, so I guess it has to be somewhat pastoral.

There is also this bar/saloon where the clientele wear cowboy hats and there is lots of smoking of cigarettes and such because, and I quote, "Colorado is definately not California." This seemed out of place as Aspen Meadows seemed sort of yuppified to me.

Now that there is a new fridge in the lab I think I will buy a blender and then I can make smoothies that kick ass!

There was a woot-boy in the kitchen. The type that is like, "Woot! Chicken fingers for lunch!" and, "Woot! We made it [through lunch]!" and, "Woot! Time to go home!" If I have energy to woot I usually reserve it for such exciting occasions that do not involve dull work in a kitchen. To previously mentioned woot number two, I felt like paraphrasing Enid from Ghost World back to him, "How totally amazing. We finished lunch."

I bought 1 large glass of lemonade and 2 cookies for a quarter. What a bonanza! Granted it was from a lemonade stand and I gave the kids the change from my dollar. Even better.

It makes up for the fact that there was no lettuce at breakfast today. I ask you! How does one make a sandwich without lettuce? And it is not that they do not have lettuce, because they never run out of lettuce. It is just someone not putting lettuce out. Sometimes its tomatoes. Now that I think on it, I believe the culprit is really differences in culture.

A general Western sandwich requires bread, cheese, meat, tomato, lettuce, and various condiments. Some might scoff, but I believe that if you leave out any of these crucial ingredients the delicate balance of the sandwich is irrevocably altered from any appealing treat. For example, lose cheese, meat, bread or lettuce/tomato and you lose key food groups. Lose tomato and/or lettuce and you lose color and crunchy texture. Lose tomato and you lose juiciness. Lose lettuce and you lose that all important buffer between tomato and bread.

Somehow I must communicate this with people from all over the world, for if you forget to put out lettuce, you ruin my sandwich, thus ruining my lunch, thus ruining latter half of my day.

Okay it is not that dire, but you should see the fuss people put up if heaven forbid we forget the soy milk.

Secondly, if I have to eat ribs for dinner one more time I am going to scream. It is like the cook said, "This is all I now how to make and I'm sticking with it." Plus, the ribs are very UN-lean, so when I am given my SINGLE rib at dinner it is the equivalent of recieving about a marble-sized piece of meat.

But yeah, those cookies and lemonade were good. (Looking for that mercurial lining.)

I am DOUBLY offended by this waitress who would not serve us tonight! Some drunkard had the gall to tell us we should leave if we were not going to order drinks and then I said, well we haven't seen a waitress all night. When she finally came by our table and I was waving TWO jands at here, she completely ignored us!! And I would have tipped her well, hmph.

I am very offended by one Mr. Robert Fitzsimmons. Mary called me last night inbetween a clubbing experience. I asked her what kind of music the club had and she played me some music.

"Oh, trance," I said.

Robert seemed very shocked that I knew this and said it made my stock rise in his eyes. Geez, you like one blond pop princess and suddenly you live in a bubble. I know trance. It's that stuff you hear on the radio when you are coming home form bars. I may not jump on the trance bandwagon, but I am aware of the wagon. What's more it has been on my radar for quite a few years now. And yes I can also use chopsticks. Give me a break people. I read and I actually leave my house too.

In other news, you know you live in a desert when you are genuinely shocked to feel water falling from the sky. I felt a little like Chicken Little: the sky is falling!!

Oh and it' s ma birfday and I am eating yummy Italian food tonight and hopefully a little vino, as Susana would say. Gots to call her.

I think I had something else to say, but I can't remember. Ciao!!

Oh yeah. I remembered there was suppposed to be a large earthquake by September 5, 2004. Still waiting...

So I went to a barbeque on Saturday in Topanga Canyon. I love going up the canyon because you cans almost forget you are in LA. There are even, like, real stars up there. Stars as in giant orbs of gas, not as in Britney Spear's giant...just kidding I won't go there. There is a little town-like entity in the canyon that reminds me of a little mountain town. Very cute. It makes me feel like I am in the mountains. Saw two doggies. Bruiser and a new name guy. Bruiser stepped on my flip-flop and he is so mammoth I could not get it back.

It is Labor Day weekend, which is ironic, because the true "laborers" do not get the day off. It is truely fall. I know this because the little park I walk through has slowly transformed itself from a park full of little boys with baseballs to little boys with soccer balls. Where the little girls are I don't know, probably playing with Soccer Barbie.

Two septagenarian ladies
Near the end of the cereal aisle
Discuss the Froot Loops
But basket the cornflakes.