Thursday, September 25, 2003
I wonder if I could write a romance novel?
I was listening to a certain public radio show which shall remain nameless and there was a piece on the romance novel industry, which is apparently this million/billion/can't-remember-which-illion business. Millions or billions there must be some money in there with my name on. I bet it would be kind of fun, but of course I would use a pen name to protect the honorable Allen family name. What is a good romance novel pen name...
Of course the obvious choice would be Joan Wilder. Then people would come up to me a say, "Joan Wilder? Joan Wilder the novelist? I read your books, I read all your books!"
Or perhaps something more inspired like...I got it...Aphrodite Austen! Yes! And I will write historical romances set in the world of Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Jane and Bingley and Miss Emma Woodhouse and Mr. Edward Knightly and Eleanor and Edward and Marianne and Colonel Brandon. (On a side note, who remembered that Mr. Darcy's first name was Fitzwilliam? No wonder he always goes by Mr. Darcy or just plain old Darcy. Do you think Lizzy ever called him Fitzy?)
Sounds like a plan and a half.
Oh and glory hallelujah there were NO HAMBURGERS today! Falafel. Yum. Though quite overshadowed by the temper of a certain co-op cook who shall remain nameless because none of you know his name any way.
Let it be known that putting canned apple pie filling in rolled up refrigerator dough and frying in oil DOES NOT constitute writing "Home-Made Apple Pie" on a piece of paper and posting above said pastires. Firstly, said pastries (if they indeed can be termed pastries) are only one small step higher on the food chain than MACDONALDS apple pies and there are inumerable steps between MACDONALDS apple pies and HOME-MADE apples pies. Secondly, I am not certain it is appropriate to label anything coming out of the co-op kitchen as being "home-made." Even with the best intentions I am sure that the multiplication of recipes to co-op proportions eliminates the individual care and attention critical to...umm...homely manufacturing?
Oh and I am sure that even Wolfgang Puck is not too proud to use an OVEN TIMER. So please swallow your pride so we can swallow some non-denigrated food once in a while.
This is not aimed at anyone in particular, just to cooks the world wide.
I am quite CAPITAL-HAPPY tonight and so I will end with a HOME-MADE joke.
How does the man (or woman on second thought) who fixes copy machines drink his scotch?
On 'xerox.'
If you like that one, I made it up myself. If you didn't it, I think it came out of the co-op kitchen. Bu-dum-dum-ching.
Good Night John Boy.
I was listening to a certain public radio show which shall remain nameless and there was a piece on the romance novel industry, which is apparently this million/billion/can't-remember-which-illion business. Millions or billions there must be some money in there with my name on. I bet it would be kind of fun, but of course I would use a pen name to protect the honorable Allen family name. What is a good romance novel pen name...
Of course the obvious choice would be Joan Wilder. Then people would come up to me a say, "Joan Wilder? Joan Wilder the novelist? I read your books, I read all your books!"
Or perhaps something more inspired like...I got it...Aphrodite Austen! Yes! And I will write historical romances set in the world of Miss Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy and Jane and Bingley and Miss Emma Woodhouse and Mr. Edward Knightly and Eleanor and Edward and Marianne and Colonel Brandon. (On a side note, who remembered that Mr. Darcy's first name was Fitzwilliam? No wonder he always goes by Mr. Darcy or just plain old Darcy. Do you think Lizzy ever called him Fitzy?)
Sounds like a plan and a half.
Oh and glory hallelujah there were NO HAMBURGERS today! Falafel. Yum. Though quite overshadowed by the temper of a certain co-op cook who shall remain nameless because none of you know his name any way.
Let it be known that putting canned apple pie filling in rolled up refrigerator dough and frying in oil DOES NOT constitute writing "Home-Made Apple Pie" on a piece of paper and posting above said pastires. Firstly, said pastries (if they indeed can be termed pastries) are only one small step higher on the food chain than MACDONALDS apple pies and there are inumerable steps between MACDONALDS apple pies and HOME-MADE apples pies. Secondly, I am not certain it is appropriate to label anything coming out of the co-op kitchen as being "home-made." Even with the best intentions I am sure that the multiplication of recipes to co-op proportions eliminates the individual care and attention critical to...umm...homely manufacturing?
Oh and I am sure that even Wolfgang Puck is not too proud to use an OVEN TIMER. So please swallow your pride so we can swallow some non-denigrated food once in a while.
This is not aimed at anyone in particular, just to cooks the world wide.
I am quite CAPITAL-HAPPY tonight and so I will end with a HOME-MADE joke.
How does the man (or woman on second thought) who fixes copy machines drink his scotch?
On 'xerox.'
If you like that one, I made it up myself. If you didn't it, I think it came out of the co-op kitchen. Bu-dum-dum-ching.
Good Night John Boy.
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